Fresh And Blood
by LoveyHowl
Summary: A new show from the producers of Sunday Nite Blood...just having fun...


True Blood Season 5

I own nothing.

Fresh and Blood

(Music up: An edited version of the guitar intro to Jace Everett's "Bad Things" begins to play and then ends as two figures sit in silhouette in director's chairs. When the lights come on we see a man and a woman and a backdrop that fills the space behind them; it looks like blood splattered on a white background that actually reveal the words "Fresh And Blood".)

DICK MIEUV: Hello True Blood fans and welcome to this first edition of Fresh and Blood! I'm your host, Dick Mieuv and I'm joined today by my lovely co-host, Dhama Lai—welcome on board, Dhama...

DHAMA LAI: Thank you, Dick, I'm thrilled to be here.

DICK MIEUV: Dhama, explain to the fans what brings us here tonight...

DHAMA LAI: Gladly, Dick! We all know that we can't get enough of our favorite citizens of Bon Temps...so the producers of Sunday Nite Blood came up with the glorious idea of bringing you, the fans, a behind-the-scenes glimpse into the show...two minutes and two seconds of joy as we interview your favorite characters! Tonight we are very pleased to receive our two beautiful and gracious guests...Sookie Stackhouse and Tara Thornton! Hello and welcome!

SOOKIE: Hi, y'all!

TARA: Hi, thanks for having us.

DICK MIEUV: Let me just say what an honor and a pleasure it is to meet you both and welcome to our new show. Let's get to it, shall we?

TARA: Sure.

SOOKIE: Fire away!

DHAMA LAI: Sookie, Season 5 brings a host of changes to your life, mainly the absence of either Bill Compton or Eric Northman as your love interests—you're flying solo, girl—how does it feel?

SOOKIE: Well, after four seasons of some major back and forth action and a dream sequence that really left me wanting more, I'm enjoying the time alone brow-beating myself and coming to terms with the killer inside of me. Besides, even I like the dynamic between Bill and Eric when I'm not in the picture—I think the fans are enjoying our little break-up; I'm re-connecting with my friends—even though they all hate me—and I'm really enjoying the wardrobe changes this season.

DICK MIEUV: Good answer, Sookie, but isn't that roundabout way to say you're looking really forward to getting a taste of Alcide Herveaux?

SOOKIE: Dick!

DHAMA LAI: You mean in general?

SOOKIE: What?

DICK MIEUV: No, Dhama, she...oh, forget it.

DHAMA LAI: C'mon, Sookie, fess up?

SOOKIE: Well, a girl's gotta keep some secrets...you'll just have to wait and see where the writers take us...

DICK MIEUV: Nice cop out, Sookie. Tara, you have just endured the most traumatizing event of your True Blood life—you've been made vampire.

TARA: Yep.

DICK MIEUV: We're four episodes in and we're all mainly relieved that, even though he's kind of a cool character in the books, you haven't become Bubba. The the fans have a lot of burning questions: are you damned to be angry forever? Will you, Sookie and Lafayette ever reconcile? Will the writer's step up to the plate and give us some really awesome scenes between you and Pam? And more importantly—will you get some pants now to go along with that t-shirt?

TARA: We can only hope, Dick.

EVERYONE: (chuckles)

DHAMA LAI: Unfortunately, we're running out of time...can either of you share with us, briefly, the story of Sam Merlotte and Roman Zimojic's day on set at the fairy nightclub?

TARA: (laughing) Wow—do you want me to take this one or you, Sook?

SOOKIE: (laughing) Oh my God...

TARA: Well, they were gonna have Sam, uh...they were gonna have Sam...(starts laughing)

SOOKIE: It was really stupid...it was this thing with Sam and then Roman showed up...

TARA: Freakish, crazy coincidence, actually...So, they're both there and things just got out of hand...joking around and pissing off the director...

SOOKIE: Roman put on this costume, just joking around...

TARA: This really sexy red and black bustier...and then Sam...Sam...

SOOKIE: (laughing hysterically) Sam put one on, too!

DICK MIEUV: Oh, good God, no...

DHAMA LAI: (on the edge of her chair) Well, what happened?

SOOKIE: (sobering up and wiping tears from her eyes) Both of them had better boobs than every girl on set...

TARA: (dead seriously) Totally fucked-up everybody...a whole day on set shot to hell.

SOOKIE: (looks at Tara) I don't know what it is with this season but everybody is just silly everyday, yeah?

TARA: Silly doesn't begin to describe it...

DICK MIEUV: Well, that's all the time we have, folks. We'd like to thank our two lovely guests—thank you so much for joining us tonight.

TARA: It was a pleasure to be here.

SOOKIE: Thank you!

DHAMA LAI: Please join us next time...until then, goodnight and thanks for watching Fresh And Blood!

DICK MIEUV: Good night!

(music up: Jace Everett's "Bad Things" begins to play as the set goes dark while hosts and guests chat as they remove their microphones.)


End file.
